.Screaming

I wasn't going to blog today... for the simple fact today was incredibly frustrating. But alas, from these days we learn.

Sebastian is a screamer. No way around it. He is also one of the most loving, sweet little boys. But for about a year now, he screams. For everything. If he doesn't get his way, if we ask if he wants to do something [even if he LOVES the activity.. he is to the stage where it has to be his idea] , if we say "No", use the word bed, or phrase "maybe later", "be patient" , or "in a little bit". Sheesh.

Let me tell you now, today was one of those days. Constant screaming. About everything. Over anything.

Massive Headache.

We have tried everything, that I can think of anyway. Threats [time-out, no more, bye bye, etc], whisper games, blowing in his face, even *gasp* spanking [said I would never], even EVEN *double gasp* mimicking the scream. nothing has worked.

So, as you would imagine, I have to have lots of "breathers" even going outside for a few where I cannot hear it. It's incredible how his little voice box can frustrate me so much. But at night, when he is my peacefully sleeping little angel baby, I begin to feel so. bad. He must be screaming for some reason, frustration I'm sure. He has been a slow talker, really picking up now but not enough to express himself. And he is a brilliant little boy, so of course his mind is way ahead of him.

Can someone send me a patience carepackage? I need it.

When I stop to think about it, will he really be continually screaming over every little thing in 1 year? [maybe] 2 years? [unlikely] 3 years? [we will all be in counseling by that point] so it is probably just one of the two year old things that I will [I don't believe it at this point...]

Laugh about Later.

Hopefully we will work out something that is really effective for him [and us] to tame this stage. In the meantime, I need to be a patient Mama [and rub off some on his Daddy] to work through this frustrating time in little man's life.

.Success!

Have to admit, pretty proud of myself today. For one, got back into my craft room late evening/this morning. Had to make a walgreens run at 1:30AM for hot glue [had to settle with apoxy, stinky stuff :(] but the project is almost finished! I'll post a pretty picture when it's complete! Have had an overload of inpiration - thankfully!! - and after I manage to CLEAN the craft room, I will be at it again. Right now I am focusing on decorating our house. I really, really want to paint the walls. But for 1.. who with a toddler has the time for that?! for 2. my paint must be 'approved' by the landlords [aka the parentals] and I know we just don't sync on that kind of thing. SO in the mean time, I'll be making lots of pretties and gathering ideas to decorate my boring little house. Because really?

I love my house!

It is spacious, has an amazing kitchen..huuuge backyard, quiet neighborhood. It's not the 'dream home' but for my 22 year old poor, poor self.. it's a dream come true!

SO!

If you have decorating ideas, send 'em my way!

**Must add today is a speshal day! My best friend is 23 today, and oh.. I love her so! [the project is for her!! SHH. don't tell!] Courtney is an extremely special person to me. She has so much love in her heart to give, she is a constant reminder of the gifts we are given here on earth and the people we are supposed to learn from. She is a rock for me and I am sooo thankful for her!

Also thankful to my stepmom who is going to watch Sebastian for me tonight so I can go to Courtney's birthday dinner! THANK YOU!

Here is Court and I at my bachelorette party :]

<3 you woman!

Second reason I am proud today... as you know I am a bailbondsman. Well, with no help to "Dog the Bounty Hunter".. we bondsman have a BAD rep. And to tell you the truth, most bondsman are sneaky [last post touched on this a bit.] After the industry being called out by the judge yesterday in court, I felt the need to defend myself and our company.. so today I did! Let me explain that this judge is NOT an easy one to talk to, and you can get on his shit list before you even know it, so I had to be careful. But I was direct, respectful, to the point and guess what? He Listened! He also told me he knew that myself, and my company, were a few of the good ones and he has respect for us. All that I ask! May seem like a small thing, but in this industry, can't make too many friends :] I was proud of myself for having the guts to stand up and say something.. now I am glad I did!

Well, enough tooting my own horn. I've got to get down to business!

<3 C

.Spring [Almost]

I just so desperately want to title this post Spring. But guess what? It snowed yesterday, so I suppose not, ha! But I know its coming. All the pretty purple and white flowers in my backyard, the tulips are grown and about to show their beauty [Olivia and I planted them!] but they are harbored up a little longer.. saying screw this snow! I can't wait for my yard to explode to put some pretty pictures on here. So, business is still slow. And it sucks... not just for the lack of monies. But because it's slow because someone is STEALING my business. How frustrating is that? Being undermined and seemly stomped out by shady, snarky snakes. Alliteration aside.. I refuse to be beat! I just had a long convo with a dear friend about how I am not a competitive person, I like to go with the flow and just do and be. Well.. when someone crosses my turf, I have been proved wrong. VERY competitive! If they were just better at what they did it would be one thing... but I know I do things the RIGHT, MORAL way and I refuse to back down! Alas, since the lack of money I have taken up another side job.. Serving papers. Oh yes, it's as glamorous as it sounds. but really. You know, with all my little jobs.. it is definitely never boring, I guess I should be thankful of that! GOAL: BLOG MORE! I have indeed started a handwritten "Sebastian blog" also called the "Bathroom Chronicles". I'm excited about this even tho I started it too late [he's in his 2's on to his 3's!!] at least I started. Just the ends and outs of his little life and his accomplishments. My memory seems to be getting worse and worse lately, so I NEEDED to do this. I'm a freak about memories and cannot stand for them to be lost! SKB update! Little man is doing so well :] I'm so proud of him! We took him to his first movie this past weekend! Gave him the option to see Yogi Bear or Tangled and he picked Tangled. It's about 1.20 long and we made it an hour! Then I needed to change him [he needed a LOT of water to wash down the bucket of popcorn the size of him..] and then he thought it was time to play.. at the arcade! Well we went back in the movie and the minute we sat down he pooped. Surprised? Me either! So we went ahead and left. Didn't see the end of the movie but Sebastian LOVED it! His eyes were SO BIG when it came on the big screen!! Of course about 45 min in he would hear everyone else laughing and turn around in his seat to try to talk to all of the other kids in there.. haha he's my little social butterfly :] He really is so sweet. He is never shy [I'm happy about!] We had someone come to buy our car the other day and he came and sat down in the recliner while I was getting the title and such, Sebastian brought him a book and wanted him to read to him! LOL boy knows what he wants!

On our way to the movies :]]

Sebastian seems to get "stuck" on certain books.. which is we have to read them 6-8 times a day.. and when we are not reading them he quotes them haha! First it was Goodnight Moon, then Cat in the Hat, then Green Eggs and Ham.. now Are You My Mother? It is so sweet. My bookworm. He is just like his Mama! Speaking of.. I'm currently reading On The Road, The Hobbit & Defending Your Child. I picked up a slew of books at the thrift stores this weekend so I'm pretty stoked to get into those. I always have too many going at one time. Ah, well! With that said, I'm off to read my book until Sebastian wakes up from his nap. See you soon :]

.Cold

As this title is quite appropriate, we find ourselves in the dead of winter in the middle of the country in a state scared by snow. Its colder than cold [Negative 2 today, I believe] and its a wonder how most think of cold as a "Wake Up".. I think of it as a Sleep In.
I cannot seem to get motivated to finish any one thing. ie: Laundry, Dishes, a blog, scrapbook.. oh the list goes on and on and becomes more depressing. Not only are my little daily this and thats on this list, but I cannot seem to get business done either, not for lack of trying tho.
I feel like I need a new direction. I have the inspiration, now I need to squeeze it out onto something new.
Ideas?

.New!

Ok, so after going on a 3 hour blog reading rampage [once I start, I just can't stop!] I decided to make my blog just a weee bit prettier, and join this crazy thing called the blogging world! I've steered clear thus far [like I need something ELSE to keep up with!] but there are SO MANY fun and interesting people out there that I wouldn't have a chance to know otherwise.. so I can't pass that up.

So I guess I will add some folks and hopefully they will add me back and we will get this whole thing a'goin' :] In case you don't want to go back and read thru the rummage of all my old posts, we will do a short and sweet meet and greet! HA!

Hellllo! I'm Crystal Lee :] I'm a free spirit with a big heart, devoted to my family and music, and probably wanna be your friend! [please no creepies, and let's leave the negativity at the door, shall we!] I have a million aspirations in life, and there is no telling what all I will get into. I use waaayyy too many comma's when I write/type, so don't judge! I am all about documenting life, even the minute details. Because guess what? In 30 years you won't remember that nice man at the coffee shop, or the way the sun looked just over the snow covered tree's. And these are all things that should not be taken for granted :]. I don't have a religion at this time, but I do believe in Love. I believe if we love our world and those in it, we can do only good. I try each and everyday to love those around me... even the ridiculous amount of idiot drivers in SW Mo... yup, them too. Anyways, this blog used to be named Useless Thoughts ... which is how I felt. Who would care about little ins and outs of my life? I'm neither interesting or glamorous.. but hell, I love to learn about other people, what's happening in their life and their emotions.. so maybe other people won't find these thoughts quite as useless. So here we go, bloggers! Let's make friends :D

.New Year

Resolutions... Most people make them only at the end of the year, and they are forgotten by now. Though, I make resolutions almost daily. I see each month, week, day as a new chance to make it right, to do what I planned, to help, to finish the to-do list, whatever the case may be.

Here are a few *january goals*
-Be More Organized! [checkk.]
-Practice Patience [[daily goal]]
-At least 1 contribution to society
-Become a therapist

The last one is tricky. Sebastian is doing therapy 2-3 times a week. May seem like a lot, but out of the 168 hours in a week, thats only 2-3. I know to make this work and to help my son I have to become the therapist. Do what they do, practice what they preach. It is hard, and time consuming. I get to feeling guilty bc sometimes, I just want Sebastian to be content playing by himself so I can just get the dishes done, do some laundry... but honestly, I have to take parenting to a whole new level. Sebastian requires different attention and LOTS of it. I have to put my other duties on hold while I have him, and use every possible chance to help him. This is a big goal, and will be one for the rest of my life. But for him, anything is possible!

I desperately wish I had time to make an artsy-fartsy blog [in all seriousness!] It would make it so much prettier to look at. But alas, the time thing... what I always seem to run out of. So for now, I will contine to document my Useless Thoughts on my boring blog for no one to read. Its ok, I'm an optimist :]

.December

This month has been odd, off a little. Christmas seems a little more insane, a little less holiday to me. Growing up, one good thing about Christmas was that widespread "warm, fuzzy feeling". You know... while Christmas shopping, putting up the tree, your mom singing Christmas carols... :D
Now, all it is is a bunch of assholes pushing around in the stores and honking in traffic, long lines and grumpy employees, stress and maxx'd out credit cards... what happened to us?
The Human Race is not NEARLY as intelligent as I had once believed. If anyone IS watching us from afar.. .they are probably laughing their ass' off at us all.

Here's my Christmas List.
-To see a smile, from everyone I meet
-For the world to gain a little more good, lose a little more bad
-Money to diminish its gravity and LOVE to take its place
-a healthy, happy, sucessful, joyous 2011 !!!
-My sweet baby to learn so many new things, and continue making big steps :]

and as a present to myself... I'm gonna go back to school, and fill this ol' head with some knowledge :]