.Christmassy

Tis the Season!

To breathe a huge sigh of relief that Christmas is over.
That's sad.
But so, so true.

Christmas means lots of family, which is amazing!  But with Tony and I both having split parents, it means a lot of celebrations to squeeze into only a few days off, and inevitably there will be people we do not see [ie: Tony's Dad, Nanny and Aunt in MN]. But, we did our best, went into debt, and totally won the "best Christmas presents" award (we awarded each other... yes, we were that proud).  The kids had a wonderful time.  They got their bikes on Saturday and got to ride around on a beautiful, sunshiney, 57 degree day.  Three days later it was Christmas and we got snowed in at the in-laws. Olivia got the flu bug Saturday night, and I on Monday night.. meaning that I spent Christmas hurling in a trash can in the guest room having delusional dreams and aching to no end. I got up long enough in the morning to watch the kids open their gifts and long enough in the evening to make it back to my scared little spot on the couch to watch Full House Christmas episodes. Sad but true.
Monique and Judah came in on Saturday, and Adam and Kristen came down, too.  It was a total sibling party and my heart hasn't been that happy in a while.  We have the coolest siblings.

Being the sickly one I was and lacking a camera, Judah and Mo got all the gift giving pictures and will have to be added in later.  I know there was so good'ens though.

The holidays snuck up this year, and I totally wasn't prepared.  Cannot make this mistake again. No ma'am.. too much stress.

Now its [sorta] back to work, back to making a little money so we can play more.

Tony and I have huge plans for 2013.  It will be the best yet!

 Bike operations

 Playing with Uncle Adam.

 Auntie Mo is home!

Kids writing Santa a letter :]

 55+ Christmas weather means trampoline time with Papa! 

 Resurfaced after the 24 hr flu

 White Christmas!

.Seven

Oh my, Little Livi... look how big you are!

Seven.. GOSH! So old! First of all my little princess, let me tell you how PROUD I am of you.  You have gone through many things in your young little life and have come out of each situation unscathed and ready for what's to come.  I tell everyone this, but your outlook on life and your positivity is something to be admired.  You never have a bad day.  I learn so much from you and really stop to take in your intoxicating zest for life!  You are such a special person.  You are a sponge and I love when you ask me to explain something to you.  You told Sebastian yesterday "Sebastian, you're the smallest. And I'd KILL to be 4 again.. no worries, school wasn't hard and you just get to play all day. Enjoy it, Bubby." I laugh so hard.. but who could you be mimicking?? ;].  You have taught me to choose my words with caution because you never know when they will be repeated or taken completely to heart.  You're a little talker and could probably talk an entire day straight without stopping.  You love Avacados, Tomatoes, Caesar Salad and other delicious foods most 7 year olds are missing out on.  You are wise beyond your years and you are incredibly TALL!  You learned to ride your bike this year and are so very proud of yourself.  You broke your arm in July, and grew it "back together" miraculously fast.  I think you are super-girl!  There is a million things I could rant and rave about you, but I will say this : Thank You.  Thank you for being a part of my life.  Thank you for Loving me unconditionally.  Thank you for being a wonderful sister to Sebastian.  Thank you for keeping the sparkle in your eye and never letting anyone get you down.  I look up to you, little lady.


<3 mama="mama" nbsp="nbsp">

.Modify

So quite some time ago I posted I would be going back to school this year. And a year before that, I probably posted the same. It saddens me to say neither happened:(. I had full intentions of using my pell grant money to snatch up that OTA degree. Turns out, it is one of oh, four degrees that the state won't fund. Why? I never got to the bottom of that. Well I still went through the application process, funding process, all that jazz.. But then found out that of I wanted to further my education and get my masters in Occupational Therapy (which was the end goal) that none of this schooling would go towards it. Lame. Lame. Lame!!! So, the way I see it, it's go big or go home. Now I am all for setting my goals high and jumping in, but that is a HUGE financial issue. All that DEBT. That's what school screams to me. I desperately wish education wouldn't put people in the hole for half of their career.. What a scam! The whole thing makes me kind of sick. I'll dish out that money.. When I find something I just know I am called to do.  Dont get me wrong, OT would be a fantastic field for me to go into, and I truly believe I would enjoy it.. How do I know it's what I want to do with the rest of my life? Or should I say, until my loans are paid? That being said.. I put off school yet again.  I was bummed about that, but decided I would substitute at Sebastian's school this year. I filled out all the forms, got my fingerprints and background check, yet again.. Spent my money, got my sub certificate.. And the only thing I lacked was my transcripts that Tech was supposed to send off at thebeginning of August. I didn't realize they hadn't until a few days before the deadline.. Needless to say they didn't get it there in time. I got approved 5 days after the deadline :( I'm am so upest!! Figures.. I paid to go to college to get a good job. And once graduated, my college prevents me from getting a job using my degree.. That I paid for.
So. Back to the drawing board. I'm swamped as it is bonding, serving, property managing, and the occasional PI job.. But I am still ready to move onto something I'm really passionate about.
As I'm feeling all these doors slamming in my face.. Here comes an open window. I got hooked up with an awesome production crew filming a movie here locally. Im going to be working with make up and FX and be an extra in the film. I'm so excited  this opportunity presented itself. It's come at just the right time. I needed a new project, and for it to be in Theatre? Oh man, this girl is in heaven.
                                           <3c p="p">

.Grind

Back to it!

My dell finally fried [may have mentioned that?] which leaves me little to blog with.  When I'm at working, there's always work to do and I never get my blog on, which I am missing.  Going to really try to keep up. 

I cannot believe how fast September has travelled.  It's already the end, and wasn't it just the first?  Funny thing with time, as always.. but it is more much too rapidly for my tastes.

September has been a beautiful month.  Ringing in Autumn this past weekend and the weather is absolutely gorgeous.  We went on our first family camp trip the first of September in Yellville, AR on the Buffalo River.  My bestie and her hubby made the trip up to camp with us a night [have I mentioned how much I love this lady??] It was such a great weekend.  I love these mini vacations when there is absolutely nothing [important] to do even if you wanted to.. so we sit, relax, enjoy, eat, laugh and sleep.

                  {Besties!}

So, aside from attempting to relax and enjoy the few seconds of downtime we have, the rest of life is B.U.S.Y, just flat out so.  The kids are really loving school, Olivia is in a full day of school and Sebastian goes half a day.  The other half of the day he is whining about not being in school.  I absolutely LoVe the fact my kiddos love school.. but I really just need Sebastian to be a full day, because he loves it THAT much! Ha!  They are so busy themselves it is so hard to keep up.  Olivia has homework and is supposed to read 20+ books at home each month.  I think it is great her teacher requires this, reading is SO important!  Thankfully, Olivia is the top reader in her class! She is such a bright girl, I am so proud of her!! Unfortunately she has had a few issues in school this year. They have ranged from not completing work, interupting, being disorganized, talking out of turn, talking to neighbors and disrupting them, and talking talking talking! She is just a little chatterbox! She is a smart girl though, I know she will figure out school life is much more fun when not in trouble with the teacher :]  Oh! And I haven't posted those back to school pictures, yet. Here they are, making their lunches for the first day. My, they have gotten SO. BIG!!!

ANNNDDDD here they are! Excitement!!

We have implemented a "schedule" at home to help with some "spaceyness" and forgetfulness at home.  It also helps to keep the kids on task at home for organization.  Something we ALL struggle with, no doubt about that.  I wish so desperately I could say my home is spotless with everything having a place.. let me tell you, thus is NOT the case [though if I can get it to this point, I will be one. happy. mama.]  With two kids, and Tony and I working full time, life is hectic.. cleaning isn't always on the top of the list. 

Speaking of, Autumn is always my "feel good" time.  A time to clean space, a time to get myself back to being ME.  Over the past six months I have been distant from myself and my goals as I would love to achieve.  Now is the time to put the excuses, worries and procrastinations aside and go out and DO it, BE it, LIVE it and LOVE it. Cannot wait to share with you all :]

<3c>

.Recap

Summer flew, as it does.  Thought I had better get these pictures/memories on here before I have a blog lapse again [hopefully not going to happen!]  We had a lot of fun this summer.. but also had some hiccups!

We had library trips and park trips..

A fun trip to Arkansas to hang out with friends. Kids had a blast in this arcade, went bowling and kids rode go karts for the first time!

                                                    Fourth of July was a lot of fun :]

                                                      We lit a lantern for my Papa <3>

                                                And thoroughly enjoyed 4 packages of sparklers!

 Play dates!

And a broken wrist :[

     And a BIG four year old Birthday!!!!!



.Broke

Well, that's been the general consensus of the summer, and I don't only mean our wallets. 
If you live anywhere in USA, you know by now.. it's HOT.  Unbelievably so!  Our garden we worked hard on shrivelled up.  Our grass all died and turned to hay.  All the critters, bugs, animals are out scavenging for food because everything is so dry!  Back in June, when Tony was driving home from work at 1 AM, he hit a deer on the highway going about 70 mph... So, there went car #1.  After spending weeks in the shop car #2 blew a headgasket... so we actually got a double tow that day, classy.  4 days later Tony did a U-turn and ol' little red couldn't handle that... and there went car #3.  Being broke down, carless, ever needing transportation, dependent and anticipating the $$$$ car bill... let's just say June was stressful.

Ahh, sweet relief!  We finally got 2 cars up and running, looked like July was really going to shape up.  Sebastian's birthday was coming, my birthday was coming, we were spending 4 nights a week at the pool... life was good.  Our friends Kat and Max flew in to see their family in AR from California.  They went to SDC one day and totally made a detour to come see us.  Awesome!  Of course, 10 minutes into baby snuggles and catching up, Olivia jumpes OFF the trampoline...annnd breaks her wrist.  She's one tough kid, who only shed a few tears and patiently waited during our 3 hour trip at Urgent Care.  Good for her, the doctors told us she broke it "just right".  Honestly, it was the thought of no more swimming, sprinkler-ing, jumping or playig on the monkey bars that hurt her more than the broken wrist did.

After things settled down with Olivia's newfound handicap [Right handed girl broke her right wrist and is casted up to her bicep!] next came Sebastian's birthday.  Now this is the first year that he has been able to fully grasp what Birthday's are, but boy howdy does he know now!  July 15th is HIS day guys, don't even think otherwise!!  One of Sebastian's sweet, sometimes exhausting, quirks is that he becomes very fixated on things he loves.. ie: Birthday.  We had a countdown from the week leading up to his birthday, and this was repeated many, many times a day.  When the big day came, everyone chipped in to make it extra awesome for him.  We had a family breakfast..and presents.  Bud & Walts pizza for lunch with Nana & Ron, Gigi, and Aunt Kori and Uncle Adam made surprise visits from Kansas & Kansas City, respectively!  Pizza was good, family time was great... oh, and don't forget more presents!  Then orange leaf and home so Uncle Adam, I mean Sebastian.. could play with his new legos! ;]  Then.. party time.  When the doorbell first rang and he opened it up to 5 excited children his face just LIT up the room and he squealed, "Mom! My Friends! My Friends are here for my Birthday!" It was so sweet, and the only time I cried that day.:]  The biggest hit was the slip n slide and the pinata.. oh, and more presents.  After everyone went home we cranked up the music entirely too loud and crazy danced our hearts out in the living room.  It was one of those blissful moments not to be forgotten... the kids were hopped up on party favors and Special Requested 2 Tier Strawberry Gluten Free Cake.. and Mom and Dad were hopped up on party planning, too much partying for one day and delusional sleepiness, but it made me so happy that although my kids are rapidly growing, and my baby had just turned 4.. they weren't quite too big to be picked up and twilled around, time and time again.

About a week post birthday, Sebastian had a major crash-and-burn that involved toe walking, sprinting, flip flops and a concrete driveway.  We ended up at the same urgent care where by now I am sure they are having their suspicions regarding my parenting skills.. everyone scoffed at me for bringing him in, but with a goosegg the size of Montana and instant purple bruising, I wasn't going to take the chance.  But everything checked out and now we have two in the healing process!

Which brings us to August.  School is next week [HOLY COW!] and my little pre-k and 1st grader are more than ready!  We've met teachers, orientated, and now just ready for Tuesday.  It's going to be a fabulous year, I think I am as excited for them!!

<3>C

.Labels

Labeling has become a sad epidemic in our society.  Classifying, stereotyping, sorting people into groups to reach greater numbers of people, impersonally, but efficiently. Labels can be such a strong starting point for insecurity and basis for depleting feeling of self worth.  But labels can be beneficial, and also necessary at times. To explain, let me regress.
From the time Sebastian was very small, I saw the danger and toxicity in comparing my child to anyone else's.  I made it a goal to stay away from the "one-uppers" and go with my gut.  Each child is unique, an individual being just as any other, and will grow and progress at their very own pace.  The first indication I had that an issue may be present was Sebastian's constant state of discontent.  Even as a baby, he was only content and happy for a spurt of time, then he would tire and become bored or unhappy with the current scenery, activity, environment, etc.  When he started walking, I figured the frustration would lesson, but such was not the case. So many more things to get into, and so many more opportunities to hear the word "No!".  But along came another issue.. little Sebastian is a toe-walker and has been from day One.  At about 18 months, after a few comments, the word "Autism" being thrown around, some research and lots of worry over development, we went to see the pediatrician who referred him to Physical Therapy. And there our ball starting rolling, so to speak. He started physical therapy for his toe walking, Following in Daddy's footsteps! From there the PT referred him to speech therapy for the fact he hadn't yet started talking. Shortly thereafter we started Occupational Therapy. I cannot say enough about these incredible women, how patient and kind they were and how much help they were to me. As Sebastian developed from baby to toddler, the discontent grew. It escalated into frustration, for both himself and his concerned parents. His cooing would turn to screaming in a bat of an eye. And boy, could this kid SCREAM! Let's hope those vocal chords of steel make him lots of money someday... ;) After about 10 months of therapies, research and doctors visits, we got Sebastian into our school district for testing. They decided he would be diagnosed with "A Young Child with Developmental Delay". Heart wrenching for any Mama, finding out my little guy was behind on his milestones and generally not the happy toddler we wanted him to be. As I skim through this year (2), I vividly remember some perfectly blissful days, and many more days filled with frustration for him (and us!) it just killed me. But at the end of each of these stressful days I had to remind myself that he was healthy and we were moving in the right direction.. Two things not to be overlooked. Sebastian started at the special education preschool in August of 2011. If there is anything I can stress, I owe the people at this school SO much. They were angels in our lives. Not only were they working with Sebastian daily, but doing it with amazing patience, kindness and Love. They genuinely cared for Sebastian and his development, they kept me informed of every detail and provided so much emotional support. No Mother can watch their child struggle daily without a heavy heart. I felt lost, lacking control and not sure which direction to turn. At the end of his first year of preschool we were presented with the issue that we needed to get a real diagnosis.. From a doctor. This is where the title of the post comes into place. I was perfectly happy with the care and help we were receiving but to continue to pay for therapies we needed to get alternate insurance, and for that we needed a diagnosis Sebastian was evaluated by an Autism clinic here in Springfield. (Burrell, fantastic!)  In May of this year, we got his official diagnosis.  Sebastian is on the Autism Spectrum, but has diagnosis of PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified).  Sebastian has Autistic traits but is not classified as "true Autistic" because he does not show all of the delays and "symptoms" so to speak.  I am thankful, for the simple fact we were able to get insurance for him.  What this label means to us is that we can provide more help, both in teaching our son and teaching ourselves.  The people we have come into contact in the past 2 1/2 years have been nothing but a blessing in our lives. This Label does nothing but help us.  It does not hinder us, it does not change the Love we have for our precious child, nor should it change anyones opinion of him.  He should not be held at a lower standard or felt sorry for, he should not be discriminated against or made fun of.  I am thankful for this incredible opportunity to be Sebastian's Mama, and vow myself to him, to do my absolute best. And for once in my life, I am thankful for the power of a Label.

<3
C