.Fresh

As high of hopes I had for this summer, I am not completely disappointed... just ready for some relief! For one, the temperatures outside are over 100 everyday, without an index. Now, I love summer.. and I love the heat... but I do NOT like traveling in my 115 degree car with NO AIR. Major damper in my day. But thank god for my raging AC at home [that we are paying out the backside for!] My idea of summer as a kid was spending everyday at the pool, every evening playing outside, and pretty much not watching tv for 3 months. That was my initial plan for my kiddos this summer. Unfortunately some things got in the way! We did swim and go to the creek OFTEN the first half of the summer, resulting in Sebastian getting yet another ear infection and a fungus on his toe, so that knocked that out for a few weeks. It is too hot to play on the playground equipment before 8 pm, which is when I'm trying to wind my kids down. So it really feels like this summer is trying to keep us down, indoors, and LAZY! With no AC in either car, taking the kids out in the middle of the day is something we do not do unless absolutely necessary! But through it all, we have had a fairly successful summer, and gotten pretty creative with new and fun things to do :]
This summer we have continued Sebastian's therapies that will now end next week when he gears up for school. It has been a blessing all the therapists and different minds at work for my child. Even tho these women are not the sole reason he is succeeding, they play a very important part and we will forever be grateful! With this, this summer Sebastian has come far in his speech and communication! I am so proud and almost jump up and down everytime I hear a 4 or 5 word sentence in correct form. He is working so hard and it is VERY obvious. Way to stick with it bubby! I love you!! Unfortunately, some behaviors of his are NOT on the uphill climb, including screaming out of frustration, for something he wants, really not being able to accept "No", and repeating behaviors after discipline. It has been a rough ride for me. I love that 40 lbs of flesh and brains and heart more than I love ANYTHING else. He has my heart, he is my joy... and he acts out for me more than anyone else! He is pretty dang close to perfect for his sitters, grandparents, friends keeping an eye out on him, even his Daddy. But when Mama comes home, its almost like "Okay! Button Pushing Time!!" and I am left so confused, bewildered, hurt and frustrated that by the time bedtime rolls around I am collapsing from mental exhaustion, usually crying, and trying to sort through this all. I am an emotional person at heart and when it comes to my baby boy its like it is attached to me by the thinnest of string, ready to be crumpled and stamped.
After many sleepless nights, lots of long conversations with incredibly patient people, TONS of worry... I have decided to change my outlook. Change my ways of parenting. Obviously what we are doing isn't working. I am praying for lots of progress when school starts, when we have a routine, when he is away from home a little bit. In the mean time, I need to be working like hell to find out what works best with Sebastian [this proves difficult, as some things work one day, and mean nothing the next. Sigh.] But you know, there is a reason I was given a kid who needed a little something special, and this I can handle and I will help Sebastian grow to his absolute full potential.

I need a fresh start and a new outlook.
Starting Now.

One of the reasons for all the brainstorming is a result of seemingly pointless timeouts. At the end of a time out for either of my kids we have "a Talk." this is to go over why they were in trouble and to use as a chance to talk about the issue and come up ways to resolve. Of course this is simplified down substantially for Sebastian, but I do it with both of them, like clockwork. With Olivia it seems to help, at least it is better than timeout and not talking about it afterwards. With Sebastian he will just repeat what you say so he can get out of timeout. I need something more effective!! Right now Sebastian is totally engrossed in books and movies. He loves to repeat parts he likes, apply to things in his world.. constantly talking about his favorite book of the week wherever we go. So! I have decided.....

I'm going to write that baby some books!

I love to write, and unfortunately I haven't found the books that are "just right" for what we are dealing with with Sebastian. So why not write my own?! Tony is the artist so he said he will illustrate for me, and hopefully Sebastian will take them in as great as a good ol' Dr. Suess! I really hope this is a successful idea :] We will see and I will keep progress posted!

Any other Mama's out there that aren't afraid to tell it like it is? It isn't all hugs and cuddles and kisses and sleeping babies. Sometimes the shit in the diapers stink... and I'm not afraid to talk about it! I love opinions, thoughts, success stories and advice, lay em on me!

<3 C